And now presenting . . .

Every time I spend any real time with my book, my stomach starts to hurt!

I have to decide on 3 markets to sell my book. I want to go out of the state of Texas (for at least one of the areas), but am overwhelmed with my options. Did some research and found out that Texas was #1 in the nation for horse ownership, California is #2, Oklahoma is #3 and Missouri is number four.

Here's the problem: Which of the three states should I focus my book on? And which markets inside these states should I consider???

I've narrowed it down to Texas and California, but where in Texas would I sell the most books? Dallas/Ft Worth? San Antonio? Houston? Abilene? And where in California? Fresno? Los Angeles?

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?

I am tempted to go with Kansas City if for no other reason that it is because my book started in Knob Noster, just a skip down highway 50 from there.


My stomach really hurts.

Negativity

Have just about decided to stash all negative feelings and simply ignore them. (Read Amy's blog and got to feeling guilty, I guess.)

Because, honestly, who gets edified by that? Should I expect people to understand? Do I really want them that close? If they were that close, would I even need to say anything at all? Isn't it just a case of me wanting to vent and get pats on the back?

And shame on me for that.

Rocky

I am so SICK of getting punched in the stomach.

It seems like I have been insulted and taken advantage of too many times to count.

And satan is using people I love to kick and slap and insult me. And I can't say anything. My eyes sting with unshed tears. I am powerless.

I feel like the end of Ricky 1 where he's standing in the middle of the ring yelling for Adrianne. But it's me, in the middle of my life crying out to God . . . Please, please come rescue me.

It's aliiiiiive.

A whole new month. I've been so busy I haven't had time to write.

But to let you know, I'm alive and kicking. Been to Connecticut, Massachusetts, New York and Vermont.

Things I've found out about myself.

1. I can teach the Gospel.

2. I REALLY want to live north where there's trees and cold.

3. I am much more attached to my husband than I thought I was.

4. I am way too hard on myself.

5. I can change - - if I decide I want to.