I watched Carol run the little horse, Duke, around the round pen for the 10 hundredth time. Her eyes sparkled, her walk had spring, her mouth laughed. As he messed up, she asked me how to fix it and he learned. And Carols eyes sparkled. When he did things right, she lavished him with praise and Carols eyes sparkled

I'm introducing her to something she didn't even know she loved. I'm able to teach her how to live a new time in her life safely.

Father, maybe, just maybe, all this time and money spent on horses hasn't gone to waste.

December 2007

Mom: I forgive . . .

Mike: I regret . . .

Cindy: I wish . . .

Nada: I understand . . .

Cheri: I dreamt . . .

Kelly: I cried . . .

Robert: I remember . . .

Robby: I am sorry . . .

Jarred: I release . . .

Without Cover

At my farm on Coughran road, in the master bath, you exited the shower right in front of a full length mirror. I used to roll my eyes and actually say: "Gag!" out loud.

I don't like being naked. I don't like what I see. There's too much work to be done that I can no longer hide from. I can't pretend that I am what I am not. Even to myself.

I don't like to become vulnerable. I don't like opening up. Because what is obvious can no longer be ignored. I am forced to work. Forced to grow. Forced to go against all the "Hey, it's just the way you are" and become more.

A Tale of Two Worlds

She was large and clumsy. She didn't look you in the eye. She spoke softly, if at all. She didn't offer opinions. I watched her stumble through life, and failed to notice the composition of the heart beneath that white cotton shirt. I never gave her the time of day, but she lit up like a candle when I rounded the corner. She knew my name. She looked for me in a crowd. She never held my apathy against me. One day I realized the absolute diamond she really was, I searched for her then found her. I hugged her for all the time lost, a plea for forgiveness for all my disregard. She held me as if I'd always been there for her. I closed my eyes and was blown away by the shining beauty of Coleen. She'd been handed a dull unremarkable rock from life. And she thought it was amazing.


She was like something out of a magazine. Built like every single worldly man envisioned, she strutted her face and figure through life. Her eyes were provocative when they wanted to be, and contemptuous to anything beneath the perfection she had been granted. Her wishes would be adhered to. She wore her clothes tight. She loved makeup. She laughed only at crass remarks, unless there was something to be gained from pretension. No fault was ever laid on her door - this was a fact she declared at every opportunity. She was the shining sun that the planets spun about. Her perception of the world honestly went no further than that. No deeper. She was handed a shining scepter from life and demanded it be gold.

I am learning that we don't need eyes to see the world. In fact, we see better without them.

Of course, Kaylynn

Kalynn laughs and you melt.

Kaylynn smiles and you just have to smile back.

Kaylynn winks and you gasp.

Kaylynn cries and you cuddle.

Kaylynn throws a fit and you laugh at her nerve.

Kaylynn recognizes you when you enter a room and she glows.

Kaylynn comes into your life and you feel this horrific urge to protect.

Kaylynn leaves your life and you lean on God for He is the only One who is strong enough to get her safely through.

She is a roller coaster fun ride, a royal pain in the bootie, a lump of adoration and a ball of attitude. She is faith revisited. She broke my heart even as she mended it.