A Revelation

While watching a movie this weekend, the subject of Christ came along.. . a reference to something He'd done, a quick blip about His life. And My heart raced. All my attention became pivoted to the TV. I ached to catch a glimpse, to learn anything, to watch His word become real. Like searching for a friendly face in a hostile room, and then seeing Him, I knew relief. The utter relief of Him.

I realized that was exactly how I feel when I see Robert, or the boys, or horses. The realization hit me.

I am in love. With Christ. Not because of the salvation He brought, not because of the chance of heaven He offers, not even because He has the whole of creation under His hand.

But because I love Him. Him.

Being over saved makes me smile.

It's All About the Humility

While I was in services last Sunday, I sat behind an older couple. After the service, they both turned to me and said how much they loved hearing me sing. I scoffed, of course,because that is what you're supposed to do, right? Humble. ("No! No! No! You must have heard someone else . . .I am an untalented worm . . .") With brutal honestly, I confess I was proud.

The lady told me, "Jackie, you can write, and draw and really sing. Is there anything you can't do?"

Instantly I was brought back to earth. To the core of the earth.
Because . . .
I can't forgive sometimes.
I can't handle being around certain people sometimes.
I can't control my temper sometimes.
I can't master patience sometimes.
I can't smile when I want to scream sometimes.
I can't stop eating sometimes.
I can't stop bad words from spewing sometimes.
I can't make myself get up and go to church/fellowship/serve the church sometimes.
I can't cry sometimes.
I can't love sometimes.


Up next to those brutal realities, who cares at all if you can write, or draw or sing - any of the time?

Help Wanted

Because I have no children living at home and because I sometimes question my self worth, I got to thinking yesterday - what exactly is my job?
K . . . it is my job to . . .

* . . . clean clothes.
* . . . clean the house.
* . . . keep the house smelling like bread, or cookies or baking chicken.
* . . . keep Roberts clothes pressed.
* . . . shop for food and house stuff and not go broke in the process.
* . . . make meals that are more than just nourishment.
* . . . to keep the horses fed, well and exercised..
*. . . take care of three dogs. (a whole list in and of itself.)
*. . . make and keep a budget.
* . . keep in touch with family.
*. . . work on the lawn.
*. . . work the garden.

*I am the only one that can give Robert everything he needs on earth - a smile no matter what, a hug when I don't want to, an ear when I can't figure out what he's talking about, and my thoughts - which feed him. And my prayers. Always my prayers.