Questions

Why do referees think you pay to see them blow the whistle?

Why do you always wear the wrong colored pants when an accident happens?

Why do you put loving and contempt in the same phrase?

Why is the person who trains you always have bad breath?

Why does your deodorant always roll into those long spaghetti things in your armpits?

Why do you always have too much time and no money or no money and too much time?

Why do you talk to a person who would allow you to go in public with a bat in your nose?

Why do your feet smell only when the whole gang is over for a Spurs party and you kick off your shoes?

Why does a little girl who looks just like Kaia keep coming in the gym?

Why do fleas bodies make a little snapping 'pop' some of the times and other times there's not a whisper even if you cut them in half with your fingernails?

Why do I always start a garden, then let it go?

And why am I so mean to Robert all the time?

Skippin Along . . ..

Spurs lost. Bummer.
Got in a fight with Robert Sunday. Bummer
Found out that the Message IS based on the Greek and Aramaic. Cool.
J to the 5th is coming in the 24th. Cool.
Haven't heard a thing from Rob since forever. Bummer.
Spurs lost. Bummer
Fit back into my black pants. Cool.
Praying for so many right now with no response, I'm wondering if God is still listening to me. Trying to be a patient grown up about it. Ain't working. Super bummer.
New Orleans won again. Big time bummer.
I have forgotten what Rob and Jarred were like as kids. Super bummer.
A big one looming on the horizon. Looking forward with some trepidation. Bummer to the 4th.

Am at a point in my life where I don't have a clue what I'm doing. All lost and confused and resentful. What's all that about?

Added to all that, the Spurs lost.

The Wind Blows Lonley

There I was, trying to get two years worth of paperwork done, while running a showroom with Robert Fuselier in front of me talking all day Friday.

There I was, Stacy next to me as I rushed in for her and ran to Mike Norwoods party @ the Kelly's.

There I was, talking to Amy and Becka and Stacy and Katherine all Friday evening.

There I was, Dralena Kelly on one side, Stacy on the other the whole trip to College Station.

There I was, sitting in the same room with Dralena, Jonathon, Stacy, Paul, Patrick, Amos and Robert, watching a nail biter Spurs game. The room was small, the game ballistic.

There I am, rushing out to the car as soon as the game is over, to go to an Aggies Football game. Dralena, Stacy, Jon and Robert were all in the truck - we were all snuggled close for the ride.

There I am, sitting and watching a game, with Paul and Jon and Stacy and Amos giggling at, and toward and across me.

. . . do you get the point that I was never alone this weekend? It was exhausting to always smile and make conversation. It was also painful.

I have come to the conclusion that having gas is the answer to fixing life.

You hold it in and it makes you feel rotten. You let it out, and everyone laughs and you feel better and even if it smells bad, it's a thing about volume that counts.

Hey, it's my blog. My call.

I'm Full Now

When I snort in really hard, there is this high pitched squeal . .

Would that be air working it's way around the . . .stuff?

The Night of the Allergy

Never had allergies. My whole life - not a one. Then comes April 12, 2008. Oak pollen off the charts, a frount screaming in, and fine particles of dust invading every oriface you didn't even know existed.

It is an interesting sensation to be so tired you can't think of moving, but unable to sleep because you left your ambien at home. So you turn to your left and the congestion sloshes, then empties over into the left side of your sinuses (you can actually feel it go: "Gaal-looop.") Your eyes water and there is the feel of a vacuum as it exits one side and flows into the other. Then comes the drainage, seeking escape. While I was prepared for that stage - I'd stuck a Kleenex up my nose as a plug. When that side gets full, (about 10 minutes) you go to your right side and it starts again.

This was my world on Friday night. It seemed like that night went on forever. Back and forth, "Galooping' my way to dawn.

Then came Emily, Dara, and Mat at 6:30 to begin a day of showing horses.

So it starts again

Have a horse show this weekend. The little girl that is showing Hercules is so tiny, and SCARED!!!! but she is so way adorable that I'm afraid that she'll place because of her dimples instead of keeping her head in the game.

I keep thinking how much I would love to be teaching James, Jules, or Kaia to be doing this instead. I ache so much to have someone who has my blood in them to share a piece of my love.

That's why I think I wrote the book. Just in case Kaia hates horses, maybe her kid will pull out the ancient, unread copy of "If You Wanna Learn Humility, Buy a Horse" that her great grandma wrote back in '07 and wish she might have known me.

Just thinking on that happening makes me smile.


[Insert contented sigh here.]

This Will Make No Sense . . .

If you take a bottle and put it one the floor and give it a violet twist of the wrist, it goes so fast, it jumps and skids across the floor. No path. No sense, just an uncontrollable missile. And you're not allowed to stop it . . It's a sort of vicious game that compels you to wait until it finishes on it's own.

I don't know why I can't. I don't understand that rule . . but I can't ignore it.

And when it finally stops, it hasn't got time to quell the vertigo that the whole trip has caused. It just braces itself for the next hand to start it twirling again.

That is my life.

My prayers are: "God! I'm begging You . . please don't", "Please make me strong enough to bear it", "Please blind me to what You need to do to work Your plan . . because I can't bear watching this anymore."

Qyuestion of the ages

How do people work full time and keep up with anything else?

I'd almost kill to be bored.