And it ain't even a Monday

Wadda day. And a rotten one it was, I'm here to tell you.

Had a doctors appointment. Found out some not so great stuff and went back to work and ended up having to have John drive me home because I couldn't drive. Spent the rest of the day laying low. Missed church. Didn't get to see my horses like at all, Robert was so worried I thought he was going to cry. I didn't finish payroll, I didn't enter anything new in the computer, I didn't check billing, I didn't get to see Amy or Darla, or Jennifer or Mike or Kara, or Mildred or Alice - - crud, this list could REALLY go on and on.

Wadda rotten day.

HA!

I was riding to work yesterday and the mama dog and three of her puppies came out at me !!!

She's gained weight and the puppies are way too cute. It was kinda hard to make sure it was her, but them I could tell. Her little thingies were all shriveled just like . . uh. waitaminute.

Maybe we shouldn't go there.

My Saturday

So here I am at work on Sunday because this is the only time Robert could get in to check the server for Robert (Fuselier). I come in and there's notes from people telling me that I blew it again with the billing. I looked over everything and I didn't. So I have to pray for tact when they come in so it doesn't ruin my day.

Cheri came in and cleaned my house yesterday. It is CLEAN and it smells SO good, I think I'm a happy happy camper. I could get all kinds of stuff done yesterday because I didn't have to play catch up on all the housework on my Saturday. I even re-seeded the back two pastures AND cleaned out the tack room! It was great! That chick is hired!

It rained last evening! Real rain. thunder and lightning and decent showers for about 20-30 minutes! The ground smelled all sour. But the seeds will take, I hope.

I think that's why God held off on the rain. I've been needing to put that grass out for 6 months. But since I didn't God must have held off on the rain until I did.

So the drought is my fault.

Observation from Horseback

Why do cars never come up in front and behind you at the same time, forcing you to the far curb until you're over that part in the road with the overhanging branch?

Like, EVERY time.

Stand in the Rain

She never slows down
She doesn't know why but she knows that when she's all alone
Feels like it's all coming down
She won't tun around
the shadows are long and she fears if she cries that first tear
The Tears will not stop raining down


I am back to the 'coke bottle spinning'.

And even if all the things, that consume my time like a sponge drinking water, what good is it?

How can you spend so much time doing good things and be so overwhelmed it becomes work you HAVE to do? I love these people. But I am so tired of all this.

Then what do you do with the guilt that results from that that?

And the fear's whispering, if she stands, she'll fall down
She wants to be found
The only way out is through everything she's running from
Wants to give up and lie down.

Update

Rode past there this morning. I heard two puppies yap, but that was all. If it was possible to catch them, I would have tried to catch them. Even played around with the idea of bringing food there and making sure they kept fed.

And then . . .

There are just no good answers here.



What a rotten start to the week.

A Dog Story

When I ride to work I go back behind the elementary. It's all wooded and peaceful. Probably the best part of my ride.

The only problem is that there is a mama dog - probably a drop off, who has about 6 puppies. You can see her ribs and backbone from the back of a horse. She is very protective, snarling and barking right up underneath Tesster. And while Tess usually loves to go after dogs (she has a distinct sadistic streak), she does not like this dog. I don't understand, but it must be saying things only she can understand, because she flat out wants to bolt away from her and all the little yappy pups who follow her lead. It's irritating. Still, I feel bad for the mama who obviously is starving trying to keep her puppies fed.

That all changed this week. The mama dog was gone. I was met with half hearted barks and tails tucked as I rode home Friday. They were alone. And it occurred to me that the mama must have been killed. The puppies were now on their own. Probably because some person didn't find $80.00 to get a dog fixed.

Next time I ride I'll look for her, but I don't think she's coming back. She wouldn't have left those puppies all by themselves to contend with the huge black and white thing if she had been able to.

Bummer. Big time.

Back in the saddle

Like Jaci, I'm trying to get back into the Blog stuff. It's just hard, but I know how much I look forward to reading other peoples stuff. Maybe you all miss me..

It's Friday and the weekend is packed. I hate it when I do that, but I ALWAYS do that!
Tesster is out back, waiting on me. She calls really loud when anyone walks out the pack of PAC, hoping it's me ready to get home. She is kinda puny - thinking i might need to get some penicillin in her. also, she has a shoe loose and a horizontal crack on her right fore. Hate to think I'm gonna have to ride Chief in instead of her.

Good thing I'm sure of my salvation.

Brymer has finally begun to come out of his stroke. That seems to happen much more frequently than before. that sends me into a spiraling mood.

Have a riding lesson, so I'm out the door to get started on the ride home. It's cool today. Only 95 degrees.

Well, this is depressing.

The sun . .. ohmiword, the sun. This heat is almost frightening. It waits, crouched and ready to destroy. The door has become an oven door. The grass looks tired. The tomatoes are dying, the horse sweat in the shade, under the fans. I abhor the heat. Always have.

The House is quiet now. Back to Robert and I. And Nellie. And Brymer. Work is quietly impossible - I will never be finished. Tess is patiently waiting to head home. I am dreading the walk out to throw on the saddle.

But the horses need hay, Nellie needs to come back inside and I have to see how Brymer is now. He stroked this morning.