Guess I was supposed to do this 10 days inna Row . . .

9 things I love. . . . there's so many . . .

10. Listening to horses eat in the morning.
9. Quilting.
8. Amy's laugh.
7. Understanding/seeing a scripture in a whole new way.
6. Talking to Cindy.
5. The sound of birdsong in the morning.
4. Coffee with Robert on the back porch.
3. When I see that God has moved in my life while I went my ignorant way.
2. Robert and the fam.
10. My God. My Father, my Savior, my Spirit.

10 Secrets About Me

. . whether you wanna know them or not . . .

1. I wish I didn't feel the need to entertain all the time!

2. It is nearly impossible to get past my wall once I put it up.

3. I don't paint or draw serious pictures because I cannot please myself ever.

4. I've never done 1 single pull up in all my life.

5. It is very very easy to hurt my feelings but you'll rarely know it.

6. I wanted to be a professional singer all though my junior high school years.

7. I wanted to be an actress throughout my high school years.

8. I'm afraid of losing weight.

9. I own over 450 movies. And I re watch them over and over.

10. I have a phobia about being lost.

Okay, Amy . . . I'll bite.

. . . . Hmmmm . . .

. . . . 7 things I want . . . . .

1. To sit in Gods lap, to walk with Christ and discuss things and to find the Spirit more.

2. I want to be able to enjoy things more.

3. To be able to better manage my time.

4. To be able to accept that which I cannot understand.

5. To see mom's face now that she realizes.

6. To be able to go back in time, knowing what I do now, to teach, and hold and cherish my sons more than I did before.

7. And by far the thing I want most is Heaven. Can't wait to be able to hit those notes when I get there.

Placebos

I've always thought placebos were horrible. Like a trick the doctor plays on you to see if you're really ill or just a hypochondriac. You take this miracle drug and wham! All better and thankful and . . wadda idiot. It was tic-tacs all along. It's really insulting.

It's fake. You believe and accept and hope and it's vapor.

So are some people. Calling themselves friends, they are just as intangible as fake medicine - the tic-tac. You believe and love them and depend on them and WHAM - they are gone, giggling at their insensitive cleverness and at your ignorance.

You're left feeling stupid and used.

Gag, I hate that.

A Definition

Faith is hanging on when it just ain't possible to hang on one second longer.

Faith is believing that there is good out there no matter how much rotten junk you get hurled at you.

Faith is smiling and doing for others when then are jerks or don't even care that you're breathing but you do it anyway.

Faith is knowing (not just believing) that you are never (never) all alone. No matter how tangibly black life gets, you are not by yourself.

Faith is a working verb most of the time. It's a horrific workout. It's a merciless taskmaster and it is worth every single second you put into it.

EVERY single second you put into it.

Mornin!

The other morning I was lazing in bed. when I turned my head to snuggle into the pillow and - - GAG! The stench was awful! Who had done what on my pillow? It was . . . it was . . .


Pretty doggone pathetic when you have to get up to brush your teeth to keep from offending yourself.

It's an Age Thing

So Robert and I decided to change sides of the bed. Don't really know why, but for me, it was sorta exciting - (I GOTTA get out more.)

So here I am, all snuggled on the left hand side, reading, happy as a clam...

It lasted 2 nights.

Much further to the bathroom over there.

The Bright Side

Where to start - where to start - where to start?

Do I tell about the absolute devastation of the break up of my second sons marriage? Or about the calm that Christ continues to drip into my mind to calm me?

Do I tell of the shock of Mikes death? Or do I talk of the anonymously sent flowers that totally blew me away with their message; " . . . you are truly loved."

Do I tell of the empty gut, hollowed out pain of these two life changing events happening in 2 days or do I tell of the amazing sound of Jaci's timid voice . . .("Hi. It's me.") not sure about talking to me but calling anyway?

Do I tell of the trip to and from *** (not heaven) - 60 hours behind the wheel while my sisters slept or do I tell about the glory of the Mojave`, the beauty of a desert sky . . . the feel of the hand of faith never leaving?

Do I tell about Jarred's face or about how he finally came home, for real - - the son I used to know?

Do I tell of the lowest lows, the highest of highs, the certainty of the love of a Man who will never ever leave me to face the rotten parts of this world alone or about the love of the Man who will always make sure I see Him in the very air that swirls around me?

What a ride.

A Fruity TMI

When Jaci was visiting once, I was doing her laundry - I like to do laundry . . . it's a habit I'm working to overcome. While folding I noticed a stupid little pair of underwear - and I do mean weird. It was all girley but had a fly that was sewn closed. "How fruit!" I said aloud.

... and then . . . fast forward three years - --

Here's Jackie, running around Walmart, looking for new underwear because mine keep working their way down as I work out. I see, in the ladies section, 'Boy briefs". Well, that's fruit. Hoping they'll be able to stay the course, I bought a package.

How amazing they are!!!! They stay up, they cover so much of me (a blessing to Robert) and they are more comfortable than any thing I've put on my hiney!!!

That Jaci! She's so ahead of her time!

Takin the World Up to Speed

Things that have happened since I fell off the face of the earth:

Done the Beth Moore 'Daniel' study three times.

Watched my sweet Amy in pain - did not like that one single bit.

been sick for a month straight - no lie - a month . .
visited old Mexico in downtown San Antonio.

Bought a new horse.

Started up riding classes again.

Started learning Spanish on my Rosetta stone.

...and then ...

OMIWORD!!!! I have become whet I never ever thought I'd be . . .a quilter.

Took a class at the Jourdanton Community center made a quilt and wham, I am so hooked! It's like I can't get enough of it. Ever.

Poor Robert!