Hateful Moods

When I don't care for someone, they can say nothing right. I have an awful tendency to find fault with everything they say. Today there were about 3 or 4 guys who could have said it was raining and I would have argued the point standing in a downpour.

And it really gets in the way of worship.

A man has said that he has an easier time being awed by God than doing anything that would inspire God. And I so disagree. I am sure that God is beaming at me when I manage to actually bridle my tongue. Or when I manage to really sing; 'The Highest Place" or when I smile when I want to scream, encourage when I want to cry . . . .

Only He knows what it takes me to do those things.

Kaia

Rob and Brandee are good at the kid thing.

Kaia (No, not 'Kia', Lonnie) was this unreal ball of energy. She went warp nine. Her little legs were like steel and they never stopped. I wanted her to be a gymnast, Brandee said soft ball and now I'm thinking she needs to be a superhero. Walking at nine months, running at 10. Climbing and doing stuff that they (Rob and Bradee) were supposed to have months to prepare for - to ease into. She is three shakes past too adorable and loves 'the brethren' - that would be ANY small kid within her view.

In short, when Rob and Brandee do it, they obviously do it right. I was always really sorry that Kaia would be their only child . . it was almost like with all the rotten little kids out there (and they are there, make no doubt) it wasn't fair that she should be alone.

But she's not. Don't know when the baby is due, don't know if she's a she or a he, but just know that Kaia gets to be a big sister. How cool is that???

Judging

Why is it called 'judging' when you disagree with an action? When you support someones actions, isn't that a judgement too?

Sometimes the World Don't Make No Sense

So I'm a huge Spurs fan. Anyone within shouting distance knows that. And I realize it's fun to give a fan like me a hard time. Okay. That's cool.

But lately there has been 2 people who go out of their way to be ugly, ugly, ugly about the Spurs. It's like they're berating me. And they're so mean about it. They say stuff like; "Oh, that's Awesome! They lost? I LOVE it when the Spurs lose!" they hiss with a malicious laugh. Or how about the guy who made fun of me across the table at a Foster/adopt meeting - he didn't know me from Adam, but he blurted out insult after insult.

Kinda makes you wonder if someone goes that far out of their way to humiliate and insult you, are they really nice people?

Just the way things are.

Went To Amy Brymers today -. She had a few artists out at the ranch to take pictures that they could paint later. Amy needed help so Chello (Rachel Reed) and I saddled up and got to play around on horses all day. It was really fun, but I was too tired to get the stuff done on the house on Massad I wanted. I stayed at Amy's for like 4 hours.

I have been wanting to ride Amy's horse, Dakota, for the longest time. And today I had my chance. He's always so laid back and pretty, I just thought he'd be nice. So I go out to catch him , he spins and kicks out so fast that I actually feel the swish of it as his hoof just missed my head. It was close. So I went up to him, sneered at him, saddled him, got on, decided I didn't want to ride him, got off and harnessed up the miniature.

I was mad and didn't want to play anymore. Why? Because I'd been duped. I was unprepared. I had been lulled into a false sense of security. I trusted him with almost no effort and he took advantage of my confidence. He won't burn me again.

And that's the way I treat people. Right or wrong, if I get burned I don't think I ever quite trust them again.

And that is just the way things are.

a Question for the Ages

Whoever said that life slows as you get older is one sick puppy. I have never been so busy.

If you don't get anything out of a study, do you still have to go? If you get to where you dread it, can you stop?

Lookin to alleviate a little guilt here.

Hate to Sound Like a Complainer . . . .

Okay, this might be 'Gnat in Eyes'ville', but it drives me bats when people have you sit to say a prayer. I can understand it if there was a physical problem, but it just seems so disrespectful. Like we can't be bothered to get to our feet. In fact, there's a guy at church that tells everyone to sit before he prays. That's kinda scary because he's preparing us for a looooong prayer.

and then . . .

And then I think - WHAT WAS THAT REF THINKING - TO THROW TIMMY OUT FOR A TECHNICAL WHILE HE SAT ON THE BENCH??????

Another Pet Peeve

I hate it, hate it, hate it when you get forwards that tell you that you don't love God if you don't pass it on to 10 people, or that you don't love the United states if you don't forward it to 8 people, or you will receive a miracle as soon as you pass it along to 12 people or you will have bad luck and your cat will be behind the wheel of the truck that runs through your house if you don't forward it to 6 people.

I ALWAYS delete them and I wish there was a way to tell the nice people who forward them to just stop it!!!!

Mah Boy Does it Again!

Rob guessed it - I was thinking of Envy. If you go back and check all the clues, it makes sense.

And I thought Andy would nail it right after the Italian Job clue!

Pleasanton

It's scary to think on what I would give if I could remain ignorant.

Pleasanton, Texas. I love small towns. It's great to live in one. The only thing better is to live in the country outside a small town. Everyone knows you. You makes friends that you will grown ancient with. Your name becomes your signature. You get to where you know the hum of the towns breathing.

. . . and then . . .

And then every one knows you. And talks to you. And tells you things you really, really wish you didn't know.

Ok . . .. let's try this one.

The thing I'm thinking of is a close close cousin to coveting.

New list.

What really kinda sorta ruins your day? I've got a few.

Dead cats on the side of the road.

Dead dogs on the side of the road.

A 'loose bowel' attack 20 miles from anything usable. (Or worse, that sound it makes when it's working itself up while you're in front of a cute guy.)

A letter from the bank that is not the monthly statement.

A nuclear blast within the boundaries of the United States.

HEB always being out of Natural Vanilla Bean ice cream.

Ok . . . I Promised this to Rob

My word is a noun and a verb.
In The Italian Job, it was the car and the stereo and the library both before(verb) and after (noun).

Sorry, you guys. Thought this was an easy one.

Oh the Joy of Paginisim

When I was a little girl, we were heathens and celebrated easter.

We never did the Church service - my parents hypocrisy did have boundaries. We did the egg dyeing and the jelly beans and the chocolate bunny stuff. We would do the eggs up and the 'easter bunny' would hide them at night and we'd get up and find them the next morning. Then we'd hide them again, and find them, and we'd hide them again, and we'd find them - my fingers are tired. Then we'd get the real treat - we'd actually get to eat the eggs. (My parents didn't do the deviled . . ie:'angel ed" egg thing . . . I have no idea why.) Oh the yellow surround by that grren slime thing . . Mmmmm. One of those things you look forward to.

. . . and then . . .

And then I wonder at the sanitary aspect of it all. Eggs at room temperature all night then eaten? And all that dye. I remember seeing the lines of it that had bled through some crack in the shell to stain the white. Gag. I remember giggling at the gas we all seemed to become full of on easter evening.

Oooo. Such happy happy memories.

So Rob needs some help

The thing I'm thinking about is a dreamer . . .it aches for anything and everything it doesn't have.

If you can't get this Rob, I'm gonna LAUGH!

Ben

When I was in Lubbock, Robert couldn't be there. My brother was there, cracking jokes to 'help with the tension' and my sisters were there, one all patronizing, the other secretive and all three of them made me uncomfortable. I was a stranger. I have never felt more alone in my life.

Mom had a good friend, she considered him a son. He stood behind me while we took Mom off the ventilator and he cried, while I leaned up against him. He also stood in the memorial, speaking stories about my mother that made me furrow my brow. His name was Ben.

I called him yesterday. I've known the man for 2 weeks - the worst 2 weeks of my life, and the way I felt when I heard his voice . . . . I have no words. In a world gone crazy, he was a rock. When all the junk started (and it is junk that happens when a person dies), my sisters pushed him out of the way. He didn't want to intrude, they didn't feel he was close enough, I guess. I needed him so bad.

Rob, Jarred; I need to introduce you to your uncle Ben.

Think I got Rob stumped

The thing that I'm thinking about is a vice.