When I was in Lubbock, Robert couldn't be there. My brother was there, cracking jokes to 'help with the tension' and my sisters were there, one all patronizing, the other secretive and all three of them made me uncomfortable. I was a stranger. I have never felt more alone in my life.
Mom had a good friend, she considered him a son. He stood behind me while we took Mom off the ventilator and he cried, while I leaned up against him. He also stood in the memorial, speaking stories about my mother that made me furrow my brow. His name was Ben.
I called him yesterday. I've known the man for 2 weeks - the worst 2 weeks of my life, and the way I felt when I heard his voice . . . . I have no words. In a world gone crazy, he was a rock. When all the junk started (and it is junk that happens when a person dies), my sisters pushed him out of the way. He didn't want to intrude, they didn't feel he was close enough, I guess. I needed him so bad.
Rob, Jarred; I need to introduce you to your uncle Ben.
The Fam!
All Us Huttons
4 comments:
This is just my opinion, and I hope it comes out right.
Perhaps one reason your mom felt like she did about Ben was their lack of a "history" together. They didn't have shared disappointments in each other or dreams left unfullfilled. They had just a friendship based on who they were then. No expectations or judgements to live up to. What your sisters couldn't see was how much your mom needed Ben because he accepted her as she was and understood her without the "blood ties."
Just a thought....
We often push away those who have a relationship with someone that we don't have. Maybe a deep down desire to have that relationship? JMHO.
Love you,
Ceal
Maybe with Ben, this was an opportunity for your mom to have a "do over". It was opportunity to get things right.
Whatever the reasons or whatever the history, I'm so glad he was there and may continue to be there. In my mind, Ben is an angel like in the Alabama song.
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