Kaia!!!

Kaia is two years old!!!!

And the thing that really gets me less than happy is the fact that I've only got to see her like twice her whole life! When we look at her on line, she's this little blur. She goes mach 9. And she talks like Madison Tullus - (BTW - Congrats to Madison!!! My new sister!)

We're going to England the 2nd of January, and I'll get to hug on her - if she'll stop long enough for me to catch her. Kaia AND England. Sounding pretty cool.

What Goes There?

Time is speeding up again - and I thought it couldn't go any faster. Have too full a plate right now but I can't help but feel uneasy. Waiting.

Like there's something in the wings.

Darla, You Started a Good One . . .

In response to Darla . . .

OHMIWORD! How can people not be aware of what is happening to our children today??? It BLOWS me away that people think a kid should get a PHD for breathing.

It would be different if it was all they could do. We're talking about laziness that is encouraged by the parent. I have to disagree with Cryssy - it's not about encouraging imagination and striving for a child who works at it, (I'd pick up an office building behind the kid to encourage that) . . it's about telling a kid they can do absolutely anything they want and the world owes them not only a living but a GOOD living. What has happened to us????

Where will we be a generation from now.

A Letter to Mom

I wanted to call my mother today.

After all is said and done, after the silence of the last 9 months, after knowing that she never really thought much on me anyhow, after the roller coaster of my emotions (I thought) had finally leveled . . I just wanted talk to my mom.

Stupid things. Like:

"I finally did it, Mom. I am published."
"Julie likes me now, Mom, I think James loves me."
"It's way too hot here. I don't fell 'holiday' at all."
"Have I told you about Barbara? "
"How could you stand being away from my kids? I am miserable that I can't see Kaia."
"If you come over, I'll make you some tacos"


How come I can't grasp the fact that she'll never pick up the phone again? Where is all this coming from.

It's hard to see the screen.

A Royal time

I love to laugh so hard that you cry.

Went to the Royals tonight and Darla and Lee got to talking about something funny and I had to work hard to keep from spewing water all over them, I was laughing so hard. Darla is fun to watch when she gets tickled.

They sure are good company.

An eye opener

Do we really know people? Or do we only see the part of them that they choose to show us? I think the latter. Definitely.

I was talking with a lady (ie:'chick') about what's going on with her and I got so much more than I needed to know. Awful, terrible things about a person I thought I knew well. Now I realize I don't know him at all.

I sat there, listening, a long prayer beeping in my mind: "Father, help her! Father, help me to help them! How in the world did I end up with such a great man? "

It really makes you feel kind of stupid. That person didn't just wake up one day and decide to become a jerk. It was there all the time, right under my nose and I never saw a bit of it.

Wow.

Intimidation stinks.

I HATE people who come up to you, hand over a folder with the chance to buy cookie dough, or wrapping paper or pecan pies or WHATEVER. For their kids or their grand kids. For trips to Florida or Sea World or to England for a senior trip.

Lord help you if you don't buy stuff from them . . you have to go to church with these people, or work with them. Had someone come to my door (from church) to get in my door so her grand kid (not from church) could get me to buy something I had NO want to buy. It was intimidation, pure and simple. And people do it all the time.

I just gave her $10.00. Didn't buy a thing.

Doubt

What is it that makes us doubt ourselves?

When I was starting the publishing thing, I was so sure that what I wrote was a good work. I wanted an honest opinion so I asked Johnnie Rosenhaur to read it to tell me what I needed to have done to get it published. He really, really liked it and said all I needed were illustrations. I sat at the table reading the gallery when it came in and I was so happy with my phrasing and the whole thing.

Now, here I sit, scared to have anyone read it. I don't think it's any good anymore. In fact, I think it's poor. I was at Darla's and she was looking at the first chapter on line and all I could think was that I didn't want her to read it. It wasn't good enough for her to read.

I'm beginning to think I should never have ventured this far.