In response to Darla . . .
OHMIWORD! How can people not be aware of what is happening to our children today??? It BLOWS me away that people think a kid should get a PHD for breathing.
It would be different if it was all they could do. We're talking about laziness that is encouraged by the parent. I have to disagree with Cryssy - it's not about encouraging imagination and striving for a child who works at it, (I'd pick up an office building behind the kid to encourage that) . . it's about telling a kid they can do absolutely anything they want and the world owes them not only a living but a GOOD living. What has happened to us????
Where will we be a generation from now.
5 comments:
Wow! I did hit on a nerve, didn't I?
But it is the truth.
I think this is right in line with the same mentality of not keeping score in competitions because it will hurt the feelings of the children. So instead the kids grow bored with their awards once they discover that everyone got one.
A child can't learn to become a productive member of the world without someone telling them they can and supporting them by challenging them. Children are told that they can do anything but then aren't challenged to do them (or smart children are beat down to believe they are worthless). You can't have a productive person without both. My goal with Gabe at this point is to just get him to see that he can do anything he puts his mind to. Without imagination how can he do that? How can he decide he wants to be a chemist, an artist, a cop, or whatever without imagining himself doing it. Right now I have to convince him that he can figure out a zipper. He has to earn what hs gets as well. His toys aren't his...they are mine and he is allowed to play with them by his good behavior. My desire for his imagination and creativity has nothing to do with what he deserves. We don't deserve anything.
I don't think I explained that very well. I'm agreeing with both of you just from the experience of a mom with a mentally handicapped child.
I knew what you meant, just wanted to clarify so that I could make sure you knew what I meant.
Maybe, I need to explain a little better what I am talking about with my statement.
"The mentality of not keeping score" means that each child is treated exactly the same, taking away competition and minimizing the challenge which is what in the real world often makes people work harder.
"Kids grow bored with their awards once they discover that everyone else got one" again is talking about how once they notice that each person on their team AND the opposing team and everyone in the stadium has the same little gold plastic award they say to themselves, "hey, they lied to me. I am not special. See everyone else has the same thing. Why work hard when the guy who did not practice every time got the same award as I did."
I can draw an equivalent to grading my students in art. I give a 100 to the person who completed every assignment and worked every day, came every day, stayed on task every day and was a pleasure in the classroom. Then the guy who just got out of jail comes to the classroom halfway through the semester, sleeps daily, never even lifts his head to ask what the assignment is gets a 100.
Then the hardworker hears that the lazy no-good for nothing guy got the same grade as he did and he says, "well, why did I do all that work when I could have done nothing and gotten the same thing?"
Now remember we are not talking about God's judgement. We are discussing our lives on earth. We are discussing trying to bring out the best in our children. We are trying to get them to want to learn. We want to motivate them. Daily I watch closely and try to maintain a balance between pushing too hard so that it frustrates the child and being so easy on the child that they are not challenged by me at all.
It is all about relationships with the child! Watch him, Challenge him, but don't pressure him to the point of breaking him.
Here is another thought: Praise him for work well done but do not praise him for "being smart". Being smart is out of his control. Working well is in his control.
Sorry Jackie. I just took over your blog.
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