This weekend, I watched as some really wonderful women put on a very good retreat. I say 'watched' because I felt oddly displaced. I went to the river, watched the fish swim sedately ignorant of me. I saw a soft mist swirl and dance in front of an inspiring bluff. I heard ladies laugh and saw them cry.
It was like I was this detached entity, observing, but not allowing myself to get close. I ached so much to actually feel . . . and instead I felt dead. Apathetic. Alone.
Will I never be on fire again?
What if I'm never on fire again?
3 comments:
I have every confidence that your fire is not only going to come back but it will come back blazing! You are one of the most passionate people I know. It is part of who you are. God made you that way for His divine purpose and I believe you will find the flame still in there waiting for His timing to rise again. Love you.
No one can know what God's plan is for you but we know that he will see you through this time.
Is it possibly that God wants you to use this time to be introspective, to examine yourself, your heart, your will.
I trust that all will be well again.
I loved sharing the weekend with you - and while we were "outsiders", I took peace from that - not having to be "on" for everyone else's betterment. I was able to sit back and watch - to see the relationships in place and watch the commraderie in action.
And your hugs felt good, too.
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