Walls

I'm back to a 'Cleave' again. Robert is up and going and it really was a little irritating that people actually clapped when we came to class tonight. No one clapped for me. Bummmm-eeerrr.

Have a person I'm so concerned about right now. And it's not because they are a mess and need support 24/7. It's that I don't see much emotion at all. It's a wall that's been put up. I would rather hate and rant and rave then shut down.

For a while this has been happening to me. And I fight it constantly. You ache to love and care and all you can manage it a sympathetic smile while you wonder about lunch or work or the blemish on that person's face. And how do you get past that and feel life again? Once it starts, it's like pushing a boulder on a 30 degree incline. It will end up killing you and there's nothing you can do to stop that from happening.

How do you stop it from happening when it's happening?

Don't let that happen to her.

And, oh, Father, don't let that happen to her.