Man

I had no idea. I am a well intentioned blind idiot, stumbling around this world.

Lesson learned: Robert loves Jackie = Proof of Gods love.

To my Friend

If I only would have known,

I would have searched you out every single minute . . .

I would have called you to tell you I was thinking of you . ..

I would have cried with you . ..

I would have been praying.

All this time you didn't want to bother, or let anyone into your business, or think anyone cared, I wanted to help. I would have been there for you.

I am sick to think you didn't realize that.

Jocelyn

OMIWORD!!!!

Is she way WAY too cure or what???

While I miss her 'Don King', I have to admit, she is way too adorable for words!!!!

Won't it be cool when her and Ava and Julie and Kaia all get together????

I get to do the tea party thing!

I Don't Even Know if I Spelled His Name Right!

I told myself I wasn't going to to do this, but I can't seem to be able to help it.

Barak O Bama, according to the news today, called Bill Clinton a liar - well he said it nicer than that. But still, he said that the Clinton's needed to stop the 'untruths'.

Well, DUH!!!!

Like this was some big mystery or something. All the lies from long ago uncovered by Kenneth Starr (an elder of the church) it was a "personal attack", a 'vast right wing conspiracey' and all wrong. Maybe, because it's the democrats 'golden guy' who's throwing the stones now, maybe the world will finally believe it.

Sorry. Feel better now.

Little ramblin goin on

Was a little irritated when I got to church on Wednesday. Seems that the article on my book that was not supposed to be in the paper until I called after I got home was in the paper and now I'm all strapped for time. But at least I am keeping busy and not eating.

Oh, and by the way:

Wadda great day!!!

It's cold and raining!

South Texas and it's cold and raining!!! Woooo Hooo!

Think I'll go make some chicken and dumplings.

My Bed

When we were at Rob and Brandee's, we slept on an air mattress. It had a leak somewhere, because three times a night my back would get really cold because the air had gone out of it enough to put me close to the floor. So Robert would air it back up (how did we live without those self inflating things?) It was comfortable while it lasted - and it was awful fun to play with Kaia on it when it was low.

At Jarred and Jaci's we slept on an air mattress in the basement. It was really pretty cool, except when it got cold and the air in the mattress 'got smaller' and I fell off the side and there was no way to catch myself because those things collapse when they decide it's time. (I'm also on water pills that make me get up two or three times and cement is COLD - especially in Colorado.)

Now I'm home and my bed is this great seductive thing. All afternoon, it's beckoned me. As I unpacked it seemed to whisper; 'I forgive you for sleeping on anything else. Come back! Come back and I promise to *support you in all you do." I had no idea how much I love that bed.


You never miss what you got until it's gone, huh?




*Ha! 'Support you'! Get it????
I crack myself up.

It's a 'Girls'!!!

I heard myself talking to Jaci about Kaia the other day. I heard pride and adoration in my voice as Jaci smiled. I figured that she must get awful tired of me rambling about all the time about Ava, Kaia, Brandee and, sometimes, even a little about Rob.

. . . . and then . . .

I remembered when I was at Brandee's I talked about James and Julie. I remember thinking then that Brandee and Rob must think I had no life as I sputtered on about the amazing 'J to the 5th's I had back in the states.

The realization is stunning: There is now no differentiation between Brandee/Jaci up next to Rob/Jarred.

How in the world did these two chicks become as important to me as my sons?

The Huttons - J to the 5th

In Colorado. Jaci's house is awesome! You guys would love it! It's too warm and inviting. It's also cool to see Jarred actually able to hang around and be a member of the fam. Yes, Jaci has lost a lot of weight - the picture from her blog is accurate. And Jarred doesn't look tired anymore. They really have a great set up.

The first thing you notice about Jocelyn is her hair.

You look past the pretty dark complexion, the little button nose, the rumpled furrowed brow as she contemplates her next bowel movement, and the unreal perfect ears.

All that is secondary to her black mop of 'stand up static' hair. It's SO ADORABLE! It's so Don King.

Julie's talking 90 to nothing. James is so outgoing now - I think he might actually like me!

I have so missed these guys.

Adventures in England 4

Wadda day, wadda day, wadda day!!

We -
rode a train to London . . .
rode the underground ('mind the gap') . . .
walked Piccadilly Circus . . .
saw Big Ben . . .
heard Big Ben strike the hour (and quarter hour and half hour and the quarter till the hour). . .
saw the Thames river . . .
stood under the 'Eye of London' (a HUGE Ferris wheel) . . .
visited the aquarium . . .
saw Buckingham Palace . . .
saw the changing of the guard at Buckingham Palace . . .

But the best (and put a question mark after that one) was when we went to get home and hit the underground at rush hour. People were crammed like something from a New York City sidewalk shot - the sardine thing. All of the sudden there was this fight between these two guys that broke out. One of them was calling the other guys something that I understood 1/2 of (unfortunately) and the other half I didn't (fortunately). Brandee stopped us in advance. She's a good one.

So Robert, Ava and I finally push into this car - Brandee, Rob and Kaia wouldn't fit. It's HOT with all the close bodies and people doing the breathing thing. We were supposed to get off on the Kings Crossing exit. So while we're riding, they announce that Kings Crossing is closed due to overflow of people!!!

Peachy. In London with a month old baby, no cell phones, no food, no diapers . . . . Where's the Zanex? Jackie was freaking out - BIG TIME.

Got off the train and sat back and prayed and sure enough, Rob and Brandee show up two trains later. Brandee looked like she was freaking out (we are so alike in some ways!). Robert and Rob were all cool. It's irritating.

When we got to the elevators to go back up to the street, they are jammed BIG TIME, so we take the stairs.

Here's the picture:
Robert in front with Ava strapped to his chest holding the front of Kaia's stroller, Rob next, holding Kaia's stroller over his head, then me with my knee and Brandee bringing up the rear. We went two flights and I thought, "This ain't so bad". It was then we hit the spiral staircase.

I kid you not - 120 to 140 steep steps, people pushing from the back, and zooming down the other side.

I heard Rob in front of me grunting, my knee was so incredulously offended it didn't bother to berate me - it just screamed, and Brandee kept saying, "I feel the cold air . . . we're getting there!"

Yes we made it. We sprinted to the train only to find that they were running late. There were more people crammed into that terminal than people fleeing from the aliens in 'War of the Worlds'.

We couldn't fit into the first train out. But we made the second - I got to sit with Ava, but Rob, Brandee and Robert had to stand a good 30 minutes. Once seated, a Chinese lady asked about Ava and made sure I knew that in her culture, babies were not allowed in the public until they were 4 months old. Mothers and new babies aren't even allowed to go out of the house the first month.

This was my trip to the town of London. And I have left a lot out.

This is why I live in the country.

Adventures in England 3

So I've finally got to see a castle! Leeds Castle outside Dover. Really cool, except that they kept going on about the chick who owned it until 2001 and really, who cares about the 1900's when you have the chance to walk around in 1260? So we kinda flew past that part.

English people talk funny. It's irritating. Especially the women, At first you think you'll love listening to their accents and then you just want them to shut up. They talk more than I do times 3.

And people here are rude. It's like we get this sneer the minute they see my Kansas City Chiefs jacket. Just another annoying American.

I miss Texas and Texans.

Adventures in England 2

Went to Stonehenge yesterday. I walked the whole thing listening to a historical tape. I really get into the history thing. I thought Rob and Brandee were gonna deck me.

It's huge. And I think I knew but had forgotten that it was a cemetery too.

But I think the thing that freaked me out most of all was the way Rob drove on the left side of the road. People going 90mph on the wrong side, doing this thing called 'round-a-bout'. I kept thinking of the time the drunk guy was going down north I-35 in the southbound lane.

LOVE these kids, but I miss my dogs and my horses.

Adventures in England - 1

It's a sunny day in England!!! First one!

It is so awesome to be here with these kids - all 4 of them! Watching Brandee and Rob brings back so much from Offutt and Arkansas. Kaia goes ninety to nothing and is way smart - scary smart. Ava is ADORABLE - cuddly and cooing.

Rob and Robert are out golfing and Brandee put on some water to boil for tea. Suddenly, she said, "Do you smell something burning?" and we look over and there's flames coming out of the burner. So I put a lid over the top of it, but it didn't go out - air coming from the other burners keeps feeding it. Cover the other burners, it's still going. HMMMMM? So I put a chunk of flour on it - it rears up and sparks and continues burning. Fine. So Brandee gets me some baking soda and it flares up again (like it's saying 'A Ha! I'll get you now, my chunky!') and it finally dies.

Smoke everywhere, Kaia asking for toast and no alarms or nothing to quiet up.

Lesson - fires in England are tenacious.

JOCELYN!!!!!

I don't think Jocelyn wanted to make the scene.

I mean, it's like poor Jaci was no where near labor. None of that labor lingo stuff (that Jaci knows much better than I do), and it's a week past her due date. It takes me SO back to her dad (Jarred). Six weeks late because he knew a good thing when he was in it. And like 21 years later the Navy says he's this unreal gifted guy.

So that just proves one thing : Jocelyn is a smart chick. And if she's this smart before she makes the scene . . .

Poor Jaci and Jarred.

Feelin a little Defeated

Why is the worst actions to take the easiest? Like every time?

My Friend

Have a lot going on with Christmas and England coming up - Jaci's about to kill me if I don't stop a second and update this.

Had my heart broken this season by a friend who's in a bad way. I listened to her and it felt as if I was this black hole sinking in on itself. Because I was powerless because I love so her so much.

But it was left at this; I have done far worse. It's all about accepting forgiveness.

I STINK at accepting forgiveness.

Happy Birthday, Jaci

I have to throw out into the void that I did NOT forget my daughter-in-law's birthday. (Called while she was at the dentist with Jarred and then had a snowball afternoon. It was rotten.)

But I wanted to give her something via this blog that would probably be one of the best gifts ever.

We were at the care group party here at the house on Tuesday and of course we got on the subject of Jaci/Jarred/Jah/Jules. And Alice Lester said - and everyone there agreed, that that was their idea of the ideal family. The kids were calm and well mannered, but still kids, Jaci was so soft spoken and gentle and Jarred was the true leader. Everyone misses them, everyone mentions them . . and Isabel won't stop looking for Julie and James.

Happy birthday Jaci. See? It's not all for nothing.

Granma Walton

When I was growing up, the one show I loved to watch was the Waltons. From 'The Homecoming' to whn John Boy got proposed to by Janet, I have been one of those people that watched it so much that I could say; "Oh! I know this one. It's the one about . . ."

I never could take much of granma Walton. She was this dour old chick, always frowning. Bossy. No nonsense grump.

Now I can see that I have grown into her! HA! All the things that irritated me about her are now alive and well in me! I go 90 miles an hour, so focused that I unintentionally talk hatefully. I come across like a sledge hammer and can't even see it.

. . . and then . . .

Then the reruns show me that she really was pretty stable. Her love was constant, no matter what, but she really stunk when she tried to show it. That's so me.

Kelly, my niece, once told Cheri, my sister, that 'Aunt Jackie sure is bossy, but I like her." And while I doubt she still says that, it did give me a reluctant smile - just like granma Walton.

It's Ava!!!!

Don't you love her little squeak?

Number 4!!!!

Ava Faye Hutton was born at am, weighing 8lbs and 6oz and 19 & 3/4 inches long! Rob's supposed to send me pictures tonight and if I can fugure out how to put them up, I will. He said she looks just like Kaia.

Couple of Questions

How do you give mercy when you simply can't abide being in the same room with the person who needs the mercy?

How do you show love when there is NO want to work at it?

How do you deal with the total disappointment in yourself at being unable to show Christianity?

Will I ever not feel so tired?

That thing . . waiting in the wings?
Still there.