It's Like this . . .

You know what it's like when you go about life, but there's this little tick in the back of your head, like you forgot to turn off the coffee pot or you forgot to give the dogs water? So you stop what you're doing to find out what that tick is trying to tell you and sometimes you can actually remember. That is not always a good thing. Sorta like; "Oh! Man, wish I'd left that thought alone." and so you push it away again, but you know, the tick never quite goes away.

I've always known things about this person. No, that's not right. I've always feared things about this person, but did not want to have anything to do with finding out the truth. By accident I have.

You can't leave it alone, because this is someone you love, and there's nothing you can do about that love. So you know the answer is to continue and build on that love (how hard is that??) and you pray for them (how easy is that??) and you keep a tight hold on your faith because this kind of agony is a part of life. Get over it, or not - - the fact remains: Life is one painful ride sometimes.

. . . and then . . . . .

Then I fall back when I realize this basic truth: What an absolutely amazing man was Christ. If I feel like this, over one person who's rejected me and stomped all my love into the ground, how in all the world can He bear up under the weight of the world? Oh my word . . . how?

It puts the loving, praying and faith thing into perspective.