When I was a little kid, my dad used to make us kids work around the house/farm. If we weren't in school, we were working. It was always something, always sprung on us at the worst time (like when you got to see 'The Wizard of Oz' only once a year and it was on that day that dad decided to have us clean out the garage at 6pm.) And as we cleaned dad would stand and watch, smoking his pipe and making sure we didn't miss anything.
I always got in trouble because I learned early on that there was simply no way to get a 'Good job, Jack!' out of either of my parents. No,I'm not boo-hooing, just stating that if you don't get any encouragement, you tend to lose interest in the task done. Which I did. Of course, that didn't matter. I still had to do them. So I still got in trouble. As I grew, I began to worry that I was the lazy thing that my parents told me consistently that I was. I never wanted to be that way (let's face it . . being called lazy is not a positive thing), but I was never called anything but that . . So it must be true, right?
So I grow up, raise kids, go to work, buy a ranch, run a horse business and realize that I am anything BUT lazy. In fact, I have a problem chillin. My friends call me a work-a-holic. And I'm so busy goin 90 to nothin that I wonder why have a weight problem.
. . . And then . . .
And then my husband sells the ranch and I don't need to work anymore. In fact, he wants me home, just running the house, doing Church stuff, reading, drawing, painting . . whatever. It's entirely up to me now.
So why can't I get motivated to do anything? Why do I nap instead of pick up dishes?
Am I burned out and recuperating? Or am I that lazy thing from my childhood? I so much do not want to be considered lazy, most of all by myself, but still, I simply have no drive.
I'm not that person! I'm not, I'm not, I'm not!
Am I?
This really bothers me.
3 comments:
I don't know what you've been doing the past couple years but LAZY is the last word I'd have ever used on you. If you are no longer going 90 to nuthin' then I say good for you. As long as your wonderful hubby is happy and you are still getting out of bed in the morning, be happy. Don't dwell on the "what you wish you were"....ha....coming from me that is pretty rich. But the fact remains that unless we are aiming to do nothing and be a bother to society then as long as our focus is heavenward, be happy. God loves you for who you are whether you are lazy or not. Please God, please your hubby, and take care of those you love and life should be good. Your loving daughter, Cryssy
Lazy, huh?!? My dear sister, if only you could see you as I do; so eager to please God and those whose respect you so desperately want to earn. You cannot see that we respect and love you as you, and wish you would take the time to "chill" with us instead of always having to leave to go work.
You have certainly earned the time to chill after working as hard as you have the past several years; why do you think I rest the whole month of June - because even though I don't get done what I need, I know that I deserve a break after all those months of school. Lazy - maybe, but boy, do I feel better!!
Have a great trip to Hawaii, and REST! Love you!
I see some others have said this but... Uh, no! You are not lazy! I think your dad's the lazy one - smoking his pipe watching his kids do all the work. He's the lazy one.
Glad you are taking some time for yourself. You might want to pick the dishes up though. They tend to start to smell if left out for too long. Not that I'm speaking from experience. I've just heard that...
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