What do you do with disappointment so intense, it's tangible? How do you handle being so completely ignorant of the deeds of someone you thought you knew, who you adored, who you admired, and who you would have bet your life would never, never be anything other than honest? I never wanted perfection, just honesty.
I feel stupid. And used. And laughable. And gut shot.
And I've never felt pain like this that was so bad I couldn't cry.
And how in the world do you deal with that?
The Fam!
All Us Huttons
4 comments:
What on earth!? I'm so sorry you are feeling such pain. I have no idea how you deal with that kind of torture and if you figure it out please let me know. I'll be praying for you though. God is there with you. Let it out.
One day at a time. Eventually the hurt will let you cry and a small part of you will be momentarily cleansed. That will go on for days and weeks and months. Your heart will hurt and your mind will reel. You won't be able to fathom anything other than the pain. Even then, it is so big, you can't wrap your mind around it. After that, I don't know. But I'll help you if you help me. In the mean time, ice cream and lots of BIG, long, tight hugs help immensely. And love - lots of love.
Tag I'm it
Okay. You are supposed to be ON VACATION having fun and relaxing. Where does this anguish come from?? All the people I can even imagine making you feel like this are here, with me - email me and let me know what's up!!
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