Too much brochilli

One of the nicest things about being at home all day is listening to noises around the house. Birdsong, wind through the trees, Nellie snoring and Jade passing gas.

Honest. Here I was, all contented, ready to write a new blog when I hear this impressive 'expulsion' from Jade. She's horrible!

A thought

When I see a cloud on the horizon, I think: "Please rain! Please rain."
Nothin. I sigh.
When I hear that there's a 20% chance of rain I think; "Please let us be in that 20%"
Nothin. I sigh.
When I see 80% chance of rain I think; "Please don't miss us! "
Nothin. I sigh.
When I see a huge thunderstorm barreling toward Atascosa county, I think: "Please don't divide over us and miss us!"
. . and then, nothin. I sigh again.
Can't we get a break, God?

Is that how God thinks while He waits for my voice in prayer?
"Please, Jackie!"
"Please just give Me a little chance, Jackie."
"Jackie, I right here. I'm HERE!"
"Jackie, don't go to the stupid world when you could come right at Me."
I've died to give you a break, Jackie. Why do you consistently ignore that?"

The thought of my Father sighing, "Nothing." gives me serious pause.

A Tale of the Tail

So I'm riding on Thursday and my bottom hurts like crazy. About 2 hours in to the ride, Tesster is trying to stop because she's tired. I have to keep pushing her with my hips/legs. So the pain was expected.

I had to keep hooking my leg over the saddle horn - first left, then right to relieve the pain of it. I effectively rode 'sidesaddle' for a long time. Bet I looked pretty dorky. the weird thing was that my sore hind end usually goes into this numb stage. But it didn't.

When I get off the horse (7 1/2 hours later) Chello says; "Miss Jackie, your new saddle rubbed red all over your jeans." That was just peachy. Of course I used a new pair of jeans that day. The red spot was about 4 inches round - obviously I had sweat and it caused the irritation. So I was in unreal pain AND wearing a new pair of ruined jeans. I was MAD.

So as soon as I got in the shower I noticed that the water on my hiney HURT. It was then that I discovered that there was a big popped blister there. The red on the jeans was blood and water - not dye. No wonder the pain was so persistent.

But other than that . . .

Finally . . .

Woo hoo! Headed to Floresville tomorrow to trail ride! It's a all 'day'er' with Chello. I'm wimping out and taking Tesster instead of Chief. 25 miles and the guy hasn't been ridden in, like, forever. I figured besides saving his tendons, it would save my hiney. You have to go through downtown Pleasanton the last part of the ride. He'd freak no matter what. So I'll saddle Tesster.

I've wanted to do this for about 8 years. I think I'm just about done with putting things off.

Ruby

We were at the lock in on Sunday night and Robert and I were laughing so hard that it made me cough. Andrew was acting like Andrew - he was smart alec, with the jokes flying a million miles an hour and he was so adorably cute while he did it. I laughed so hard I thought I was going to cough up a lung.

Because it was Robby. It was SO Robby from when he was 16. Rob used to be able to make me laugh like no one else could. He's 28 today. Although he's grown up and has these kids that I love like crazy, I can't seem to let go of that kid who was so funny and cute at the same time.

Man, I miss that kid. Andrew reminded me of that on Sunday night.

He always was Ruby - my 'priceless gem'.

Rambling . . .

Got 2 birds - 'Lemon' and 'Lime'. They're green and yellow - go figure. I'm not sure if I like them. Wish I could give them to the grand kids. Kaia and Ava? Wait, then I'd have to buy some for James, Julie and Jocelyn. Never mind . . . their dog would eat them. Guess Kaia and Ava win.

It drives me absolutely buggie that I am walking and working and cutting back on food and I can't seem to lose weight. Honest injun - I walk Jade 3 miles a day, do extra work outside with the house and horses, won't eat late and have been eating more lean stuff and vegetables . . and nothing. I lose 2 lbs and gain 2 pounds no matter what I do. It drives me crazy.

I'm going to take Tornado to the Rachleys' tomorrow and have buggy rides. Carol is bringing her miniature horse and buggy as well. The gang is down from San Angelo. That will be a blast! We get to walk 80 thousand miles - good. I'll gain 2 pounds.

Am riding from Floresville to home on Thursday with Chello. It's about 25 miles. Should take us about 6 hours - probably more. I'm riding Chief and Chello will be on the Tesster. We're packing lunches and I'll buy lots of tootsie rolls. Woo hoo - I'm betting on gaining at least 3 on that one.

Finished 'Battlestar Galaticia' and 'Heroes' - - now we're watching '24' like crazy, and isn't that season 5 AWESOME? I can feel myself losing 2 pounds as we speak.

Have the horse show this Friday. Get to trailer to Seguin with Sarah, Emily, Robert, Hercules and Tornado. It's gonna be a really busy week. Good. I needed to gain the 2 pounds.

Well . . .DUH!

Had to paint the bedroom - it's too light. I like a dark, cozy bedroom.

So here I am, looking this huge 'Texas' bed room set in the face. It's really thick - made by this guy from Mexico. And I was wondering how I was going to move it to paint. Then I remembered Andy and Amy lending me their 'sliders'.

So I grab them and have to grunt and pull muscles to slip them under the legs of the dresser, bed and chest of drawers. And the stupid things wouldn't work! I was so mad. I was supposed to be able to move anything with those! They worked for Robert - - - MAN!

It was then I realized that I had put the felt/rubber side against the floor and the slick side against the furniture.

oh.

. . . and then . . .

Then I turned them over and I pushed the stuff all over.

Amazing how that works.

March 5th

March 4, 2007 my sister Cindy came in to Mom's hospital room and said that Mom would not get off the respirator until the 5th because the 4th was Austin (her son) birthday. I remember I was so angry because I told her that the 5th was Julie's birthday.

She didn't look at me as she said "It's on the 5th" and walked away, dismissing me.Because to her, my granddaughter was no big deal. To her, it was a matter of having to making sure her world was as seamless as possible.

I am helpless against such attitudes then and now.

On my calender it has 'Julie!' with a heart and 'Mom' in the far right hand corner for the 5th of March. While that black day at the hospital might have been blotted out of mind . . it stays.

I would never forget Jules and no, thanks to a thoughtless sister, Mom. And for a daughter who hasn't too many memories it's a good thing.

Expelled.

Just watched 'Expelled". Talk about sobering!

If you haven't see it, it's a documentary on the attack on Intelligent Design in any way shape or form in the scientific front.

Being in the Bible Belt, it never occur ed to me that all the hoop-lah from the east coast was real. But, man is it ever. Some of the people who want to open the debate for 'Intelligent Design" have no care (or inkling) of God. Their remarks about people needing to put religion where it belongs ". . .a weekend past time that makes them feel good . .. just get it off center stage.". Unreal. And the correlations about Darwinism to Nazi Germany! My stomach hurts as I type that last. Intelligence has been expelled from the scientific world.

God used the foolish things of the world to teach the wise.

Christ wasn't kidding when he stated that the way was narrow that lead to eternal life. Really narrow.

This is Corny as all Get Out . .

There's a country song that goes:

"I am Rosemary's granddaughter.
The spittin image of my father.
And when the day is done my mama's still my biggest fan"

I was walking along and it hit me that it should say:

"I am the Holy Spirits daughter.
The spittin image of my Father.
And when the day is done my Savior's still my biggest fan."

Corny, but belonging to the Spirit of God
Working to be the picture of theFather
but the image of being a fan of Christ's . . . man!

Jadie Girl-She lives in her Jadie World

Brymer

Jade

Da Beaner

I so blew it today. I am a bad mama.

Susie and I walk every day - about 3 miles. This is Jades reason to breathe. Every morning at 9am, she goes back and forth from me to the door, her tail going ninety to nothing.

Well, Susie and I rode bikes today instead. Jade was out of the equation. (I'm not gifted and talented but even I know that Jade would take my bike through fields if I tried to ride and hold her - a recipe for disaster.)

So I get back, expecting a few screens to be out and claw marks on the door. Instead Jade is waiting, smiling at me. Then she followed me all over the house holding her rubber toy - a sign that she wanted to play.

I feel so rotten.

I Ain't 17 No More

Got in the truck and turned on the radio. Robert likes classic rock so when it came on, 'Paradise By the Dashboard Lights." was playing by Meatloaf. I used to love that song. I smiled and decide to go ahead and settled in to enjoy memory lane.

. . . and then . . .

. . .then I was not enveloped in warm reminiscing. What a HORRIBLE song!

All I could think was; "You stupid idiot - living by your feelings! Serves you right that you have to live the rest of your life in misery because of that!"
And: "The world always takes advantage of a person's physical feelings - thse feelings are first and foremost and must be satisfied or they'll die."
And: "That satan has got the whole world suckered."

I think I'm 'over saved'.

In Response . . .

Kim asked me what my idea was to turn the economy around. I don't think she's gonna like my answer.

Capitalism. It's a matter of charging for goods and services and making it or not. It's competition. It's failing, and getting up to try again. It's succeeding and teaching other how to succeed. If you don't make it one way, change. It's that simple. God says: "If a man won't work, neither let him eat."

"What about all the people out of work? What about standard of living? What about the children?"

There is no place in the Constitution that calls for the government to take over. In fact, it's the exact opposite. People have the right for ". . life liberty and the pursuit of happiness". Not, (as the Obama crowd seems to think) ". . . the government has the responsibility to provide life liberty and the pursuit of happiness".

No one has any right to my checkbook but me. Let me help in any way I can, but do not mandate that 'help'.

Friday

Walked over 3 miles. Planted radishes, onions, potato's and some flowers. Used Chief (HA!!!) to train Niclole about riding and horse talk. Went to lunch with Carol. Did my Wii fitness. Am watching 'Texas Ranch House'. Was told by Robert I really needed to go spend all day tomorrow at the rodeo. Going to Ron and Carols tonight for dinner. Get to watch a couple of '24's.

(insert happy sigh here.)

It's been a good day.

Not Funny

When 'Bamy' first came out with his ideas on how to 'save America' I said, with a smile: "That sounds like socialism."

then when he pushed the money to bail out the banks, I grinned and said: "Isn't that like socialism?"

Then when he said that the government should control the banks I said; "How is that NOT socilalism?"

And I ain't smiling at all now.

Forget the love . . How Do You Tolerate?

So I'm using my "mouth control", "walking in their shoes", "never-never-never taking revenge", repaying good for evil" etc . . . - all the stuff I'm supposed to do to be able to love someone I can't stand.

And every single time I see them or even hear their name mentioned, I sneer.

How do you love someone you can't stand if you can't even abide that person?

Kaia

Jenn called me today and told me about something she'd heard on sesame street . . . the word 'predicament' means problem.

And we both imminently thought of Kaia.

'collaborate' means "we work together."

'exasperate' means "Granma's tired".

"But I thought you guys liked me!"

"But I said I was sorry!"

"But I can't sleep! It's not dark out!"

"Life is over! What shall we do?"

I miss that little toot.

Resignation

I unpacked all my summer clothes today. Instead of replacing them with the winter clothes, I just put them all at one time in the closet.

I will never know a true winter - - it's all just a blaze of summer here - A mild one in January - a virtual 'not-heaven' in August.

Instead of 'winter/summer' I now have 'long sleeved/short sleeved'.

(Insert heavy sigh of resignation here.)

Arugh!

You know, dealing with people who say they want change, then refusing to change to receive that change that they stated they wanted in the first place . . .

I'm getting to where I will refuse to help them change because they won't help themselves to change.

To put it bluntly - If you want to stop messing up your life, then stop making stupid choices.

Questions?

Thanks a bunch, Dana!

Just read Dana's blog. That explains a lot.

Yesterday I started some new meds - yes, Jaci, I now have an 'old person' pill container. A possible side effect was headache (and dizziness and loss of conscienceness, and . . .) About 10 am this headache comes on. So I go along, knowing that if I keep active, it will leave.

It didn't. All day it got worse and worse and worse until if I moved I would throw up. I couldn't go to class because that would take talking. I couldn't eat because that would involve smelling. I couldn't get a cover for my feet because that would mean getting up.

And then Jenn and the baby stuff!

I never thought I'd thank the Lord for texting, but I'm here to tell you, it saved my hiney yesterday.

And probably will today. I woke up with the headache again.

Bad buzz.