I was one of 5 kids growing up in the tiny country town of Knob Noster Missouri. In the pecking order, I was #4 and (not on a self pity kick here) not the favorite of anyone, much less my parents - looked like mom so dad didn't like me and acted like dad so mom didn't like me. A lose/lose situation . . Let's not go there.
Christmas's were sparse because of us 5 kids, but I didn't realize it then. Christmas was magic . . a time when I actually got attention from my parents (hey, you go for what you can, right?) One Christmas when I was about 7, I got a doll called 'Baby Whisper. She was so cool. She was all soft, and her eyes closed when you laid her back and if you pulled the string on the back of her neck she would whisper to you. Stuff like; "I love you, mommy." and "Can I have a kiss goodnight, mommy?" For a little girl who didn't know she was a girl (I was a TOMBOY - all caps because let there be no doubt about that.), this gift was like a small piece of heaven. I could cuddle and kiss and be soft/feminue and it was ok. I adored that doll - the first one I ever received.
Maybe it was because I liked her too much that my sisters and brother couldn't resist, or maybe it was because they were jealous that they didn't love something with the intensity I had for Baby Whisper, or maybe they were just cruel. What ever the reason, my sisters and brother grabbed her from me one afternoon. My sisters held me back as my brother took her and buried her somewhere. I didn't find her for months and when I did, she was in shreds and couldn't whisper anymore. Funny, but I can still see her when I dug her up to this day. 37 years have passed and it's stayed with me. I also remember how my siblings laughed while I cried that day.
Ok, so it's a bummer. Ok, so I would have rather lived my whole life and not learned what I learned that day about my family. Ok, so I guess this is one of those things that shaped my life. But it's not all bad. Baby Whisper gave me the first insight into what 'girl' meant. So no matter what, I look back and smile at her memory, the first and only doll I have ever owned.
2 comments:
how sad that day was for you, i think it's so cool how some of us (mostly christians) can see the good in situations even those so bad that others laugh at our tears. oh and btw, you're a tomboy? i never noticed! :) luvs!
Would that I could place a Baby Whisper in your arms right now!! But you have Jah, Julie and Kia, real life babies who love back!
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