The show

Anyone who knows me will tell you that I have written a book and am in the process of getting it published with the working title 'If You Wanna Learn Humility, Buy a Horse'. If I have learned nothing else, I have learned that I am a prophetic kind of sap.

Hercules, my . . uh . .'handful' of a miniature horse, has done obstacle 87 thousand 458 eight times. In fact, Rachael and I practiced with him and he was so calm and good I considered taking him to the vet. This was not my snot nosed, biting, head tossing, bolting little skeeze wad of a horse I have always known and periodically thought of selling. He was so good, he had to be ill. Very ill. And when we practiced jumping . . man, I away so happy I hadn't sold him. Perhaps . . prayerfully, he had finally matured into a calm, sensible horse.

. . . and then . .

He refused to turn for the back up, backed up all over the poles, kept bumping into me as we trotted. There was a point where you were supposed to lead them into a box, drop the lead and then walk around the box while they 'ground tied' waiting for you. I saw that and told the ground steward to shut the gates to the arena. Sure enough, he bolted for it, the lead flying behind him like something off a disney cartoon. I could only laugh at that point. This was, after all, the Hercules I knew (who was back on the 'I need to think about selling him' block).

And his jumping? He said, "you must be on drugs, chick. I ain't jumpin nothin!' and then when he finally did, he hopped. It was like he was a flea.

Well, at least he wasn't sick.

The end of the matter is this - If you wanna learn humility, buy a horse.