You know, death doesn't really scare me at all. I don't want to get really old. You know, all feeble and taking 67 thousand pills a day and most of those are calcium. Honest. In fact, there's something euphoric about rest. Real rest. Unfettered, uninterrupted, cozy down in the pillows warm while it snow outside rest. I always wonder if I get the option to just sleep when I get there for a while. Wonder if that's possible.
No, death itself don't bug me, but the way I die does. Man! The thought of how it happens, how long it takes it to happen and most importantly of all, will there be pain?
Pain bugs me. It hurts. I don't do pain very well. God knows this . . . that's why he made my long labor 4 hours start to finish. Still. . . .
Morbid thoughts for a Tuesday, but I always think that way around this time. More days behind than in front. Days looks different now. Every year.
8 comments:
I am with you Jackie. I want to go fast and painless. I pray that when we arrive we won't need sleep anymore but the thought of snuggling into a blanket with a snow storm...oh wait I don't have snow...guess rain will have to do.Sure sounds good though. Some days I would rather bury my head in the pillow and pull those blankets up around me and shut out the world. Sounds wonderful.
Happy Birthday!
I remember you saying once that you wanted to die young. I don't really mind dying young either - as long as I get to see my children's faces (whenever that might be). My worst death 'fear' is either being bitten by lots of snakes or something crushing me.
Good thoughts for your birthday...
I don't think I fear pain as much as I fear fear. I'm terrified of drowning. The fear of knowing that I will be dying and that it will be my own lungs' betrayal of me. That fear of knowing my death is coming and there is nothing I can do about it. So I guess I fear fear.
I am caught off guard by you today. I guess the one thing that truely comes to mind when I read about death is this - am I really living? I know for a fact that you are. You have that whole life thing down! I am so thankful that you are not wasting the time that you have been given.
Happy Birthday!
Not nice to be talking about dying on your birthday. Happy bday and many more to come.
i din't know it was your birthday. Happy Birthday!!! i would wish you many more to come, but since that's not what you want, then i won't wish it for you! i love you!
Rosie says...Happy Birthday to you and thank you for my card. That was so....sweet and very creative! Anytime you want to see the "T" I am not bashful. Ya'll are so crazy Sarah, Susie and YOU....and how did you know about the "T"???? Love ya, Rosie
I missed your birthday!!! I'm so sorry!!! Hope you had an extra special day!! Blessings!! Kandi
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