I'm Movin On

Just found out that my family is talking trash about me - again. And while this doesn't hurt nearly as much as it used to, still it bothers me. It bothers me because as a Christian, I try to be what Christ intended, a good hearted scum bag who messes up, but refuses to stay down. And that should make for a kind of grudging respect, huh? So it bothers me that I'm obviously blowing it, but not sure how.

What hurts the most is the fact that it's hurting less and less and less. I can remember when words like I heard today would have found me on the floor. Now I can handle the twinge that happens then spend most of the rest of the time being puzzled at their actions. For those of you that have the unfortunate knowledge of my family, you realize there is no way I can call and try to talk/figure this all out. That would be hari cari - did I spell that right?

Nope. I just have to learn to live with this apathetic hole in my life where my sisters and mother used to reside. They don't know me, they don't want to know me, and they won't let me in to their worlds, and Lord help me, I am so, so thankful for that last.

'I've lived in this place and I know all the faces
Each one is different, but they're always the same
They mean me no harm but it's time that I faced it
They'll never allow me to change.
And I never dreamed 'home' would end up where I don't belong.
I'm movin on.'

. . to quote Rascal Flatts.

How in the world do people live without the Church?